Monday, July 23, 2012

Shared Messages from the Universe...Stand Clear

It is my belief that messages from the universe speak to me and remind me of something that is inside of me. When I first see them, I often don't even know what is really being advertised. Instead, the message conjures emotions or thoughts relating to something that is going on within me; in my heart, in my mind, in my soul. I see them on billboards, in magazines, store windows, church plaques...everywhere.

I secretly call them soul whispers.

The messages are all around us

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I took this picture about 5 weeks ago and at the time the message that came to my mind was...look out, here I come, stand clear and get out of my way. Forward momentum! (The picture that was in my head me as a warrior carrying my sword above my head rushing into battle.)

Well, that isn't how my last 5 weeks ago have gone.

They have, in fact, been the exact opposite. I have Fibromyalgia, diagnosed 16 years ago (wow, I hadn't done the math lately) after years of not knowing what was wrong. Learning to live with Fibro, instead of against it, has been my choice.

I say this because I could have chosen to become of victim and lived my life a certain way because I have it. But, I didn't, I chose to live with it - to pay attention to my body, to create self-care routines that help instead of hinder. I'll admit that some days are easier than others and stress plays a big part of me being able to cope with the pain.

Many things have been stressful the past couple of months and stress is a trigger to make my Fibro pain worse. My reaction was to stand clear. In some ways, I unconsciously chose to back away, a defense mechanism to stand clear. In other ways, I chose to stand clear. The bottom line is that I needed to back up, slow down. 

Well, I went too far...

I withdrew, I became mechanical and put on my blinders. I focused on having to function (go to the day job, blog post on certain days, go to physical therapy, remember to eat, sleep...I need so much sleep). All of this has made me sad, intensely super sad, a deep sad that I haven't felt in almost a decade. I've had moments of joy, good times with friends, giggles with children but poor Superman has seen my sadness. He's held me, helped me, been patient and supportive - I love him to death.

By the way, I'm writing this to share where I've been. It is part of my journey. It is who I am. I believe that out of the darkness comes light and I'm done standing clear. I need to move past this. So, slowly I am turning toward the light.

Happily, my body has started to feel better during the past week, I've gotten a lot of sleep, I took myself on artist's dates both Saturday and Sunday with my camera and took some pictures in Shakespeare Garden in Central Park. I've also been reading Renee Burke's SumMEr of Me series and it has reminded me that I need to embrace where I am and take care of myself.

I believe that I have turned the corner. I have put on a different pair of glasses to let a little more light in so that I can see the world around me a little bit better.

Now I know I am back on track, I have my sword slightly raised and will work on raising it higher as I move forward into my world.  Stand clear because I am making my way into battle for the life that I want.




12 comments:

  1. Beautiful post, Lori. You are so brave, and I have so much to learn from you. Thank you for sharing.

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  2. Good for you Lori! I'm so glad you are feeling better. You are so brave to share with the world;)

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  3. I adore you, my Sweet!

    "Learning to live with Fibro, instead of against it..."

    "Stand clear because I am making my way into battle for the life that I want."

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo

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  4. Lori ~ I am so glad you have made it through this difficult time with your wonderful, creative spirit and humor in tack. I can't imagine what you have to go through, but I know it can't be easy. Being positive and strong is the best way. I love how Renee Burke's SumMEr of ME has helped you so much. Powerful stuff she has started!

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  5. Very inspirational Lori! I'm glad you are empowering yourself in relation to your fibro. I have lupus and I've really learned there are some things I just can't do and know that I don't even want to do based on how they make me feel...also things I need and WANT to do like take naps--they really help.

    It's great that you are sharing how things have been for you on this journey. I love seeing all your signs and pictures by the way!

    Jill

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  6. Wow, Lori!! What a great post! I can't imagine living with some like fibromyalgia!! I am so glad you are starting to feel better and I really hope that continues for you!
    XO

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  7. You are one of my heroes! Although your situation is way different than mine, I'm trying to work through the pain of my back injury. I never in a million years thought I would have to learn to live with daily pain, but here I am. Your inspiration is immensely helpful. Thank you sweet friend!

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  8. Go forward, stand tall! You will win the battle. Thank you for sharing your story with us. FM is a hard one, but you have got lots of determination and a happy attitude. I am glad to hear you are feeling better! Julie

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  9. Aw, Lori, so sorry to hear you have been in a dark place. I have a friend who also has fibromyalgia, and I understand how difficult it can be. I am glad to hear you are feeling better, and thank you for your honesty & strength in posting about your experience.
    Love to you xx

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  10. Lori, this post radiates light, in spite of the dark place you've been, and your "soul whispers" speak loud and clear!

    In my experience (I used to be a truck driver), those "stand clear" barricades were meant to keep you from moving forward while someone or something else moved. Sounds to me like you're on the other side of the barricade!

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  11. oh dear Lori girl... i'm so sorry to hear you've had a rough haul these past few weeks... and of course, sorry to hear you have fibroM. You are a strong woman. The fact that you CHOSE not to live your life as a victim says a lot about your character, Lori.
    I love you for choosing light over dark, love you for being so brave, love you for sharing this with the world...love you. xox (ps: tell Superman i love him too, for taking such good care of you) ;-)

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  12. Dear brave, sweet Lori. You are a woman wise beyond your years. Understanding the importance of self care and listening to your body and your spirit. I'm glad you're back on an upward swing hon. Super big hugs to you xxxxxx

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